Lying to Save Myself
BSG 9-30-2003

Tell me that its simple, to walk a solo road
Tell me that you've been there
Take away the clouds and confusion in my head
Make me feel slightly less aware

I just don't know the way that I'm going
I chose this, it's better than the other
Its scary when the world is there in front of you
Numbness is no choice nor an answer

I try to decide, to be true or not
People they tell me to lie
I don't want to sit here and suffer and rot
Do something or I’m gonna die

I tell myself its easy, fill needs and make a plan
Use the physical prowess to please me
Take out the implications and cut through the shit
Forget the morals, do something sleazy

One moment I could find, solace just within
A moment alone in my own head
Try not to drink and wash the troubles away
Am i hearing all that I’ve said?

I try to decide, to be true or not
People they tell me to lie
I don't want to sit here and suffer and rot
Do something or I’m gonna die

The solution that I’m seeking is to follow my soul
Answer only to god and to me
The rest is taking chances and living and breathing
Take for granted nothing i see

Throw the bullshit in the bin, and I’ll change my mind
I’ll be Irrate, till I am not here
Tossing and turning awake and not dreaming
Just never giving in to my own fear

I try to decide, to be true or not
People they tell me to lie
I don't want to sit here and suffer and rot
Do something or I’m gonna die